Tonight’s line up of FOX comedy was extraordinarily special because my lovely co-blogger Lauren and I were able to revel in its humor together. Travelling for work does have its advantages it turns out, so I found myself in Tuscaloosa on Tuesday at 9 PM with my partner in crime and her faithful Great Dane (who is not a very good tv watcher) Riggins. We contemplated doing a video segment entitled “Watch Us Watch TV” but we realized you all might be too jealous of our awesomeness and endearing laughter to focus on the plot…
Let’s get down to business. Tonight’s New Girl featured three main storylines:1) Jess and Nick’s budding boyfriend/girlfriend status in the wake of her high school like attempts to fit in at her new job 2) Schmidt’s terribly lucky attempts to juggle two women 3) Winston’s asinine interactions with the object of his affection’s cat (can you tell that Winston is not my favorite?)*
Schmidt has yet to break up with either Elizabeth or CeCe. And so in a series of stressful close calls orchestrated by his conniving assistant (whose name is Bethany by the way!!!! Great name if I do say so myself), Schmidt manages to keep both girls in the dark at an office party where they both show up as his date. His method: a) convince Cece to play waitstaff so his boss doesn’t realize he brought a guest and b) convince Elizabeth to roleplay one of his sexual fantasies featuring two corporate strangers who give each other the cold shoulder despite their intense chemistry. The whole scheme teeters on thin ice and even Schmidt is surprised when he pulls it off. Let’s be real, that would never work out in real life and it’s refreshing to see a television character acknowledge the unlikelihood of this halfa$$ed plan working.
Winston tries to win over Daisy (Brenda Song, former Disney star on Suite Life of Zack and Cody and assistant to David on Scandal) by taking care of her cat. He hopes to be exclusive. In the midst of this, Schmidt reveals the reason behind his aversion to cats…They like to lick his nipples. This is ridiculously hilarious but also terribly disturbing. Personally, I just think they’re sneaky.
While picking up Ferguson the Cat, Winston stumbles on an enormous men’s shoe and realizes Daisy is cheating. In an act of revenge he devises various ways to murder Ferguson. In the end, the ultimate way to hurt Daisy is by shanghaiing her cat. Winton + Ferguson 4EVR.
I would like to preface by stating that I LOVE NICK AND JESS!! Some may say she’s too adorkable to tolerate but I think she’s perfect. Let’s be real, I was ecstatic when they finally got together but worried it might ruin the intrigue of the show. How long do shows really last once the main characters get together. Seriously, Friends only made it work because Rachel and Ross broke up like twice and we were appeased by Monica and Chandler’s adorkable relationship. I’m gonna need at least 10 years of Jess and Nick…. They’re best friends who also love each other. It’s the ideal.
In one of the opening scenes, Jess is literally scolding her bangs while primping in the mirror. Nick licks his fingers (a la doting mother) and slicks them down. He convinces her she looks hot, declares he’s going to “Put it on her” and even though she calls him out on the oddity of that statement, he sticks with it… because she’s his “old lady now.” Gah I love it when they do Old Hollywood voices….
Jess needs to impress the cool kids/teachers at school (one of whom just so happens to be Angela from the Office). She flails and fails but is rescued because Mr. Nick-the best boyfriend ever- brings free school supplies and invites them to his bar for “teachers drink free night.” Nick advises Jess to stop being a nerd, get totes wasted, and drink to be cool. Unfortunately, alcohol is the gateway drug to a life of crime and she finds herself trespassing on her new boss’ property to go skinny dipping in his new Jacuzzi. Again, Nick comes to the rescue and tries to take the blame when she gets caught.
Somewhere in there, Jess is so hungover that the boys cannot wake her up.
With almost telepathic agreement they burst into a harmonized rendition of R. Kelly’s “I Beileve I Can Fly” (yes the one from Space Jam). It works. Jess violently wakens, begging them to stop singing. Sometimes, I wonder where the crap these traditions come from and then I realize I don’t care because it’s still hilarious.
In the final scene, Nick waits for Jess in the school parking lot, leaning casually against the hood of his car. It’s like the end of Sixteen Candles with Jake Ryan or that Ezra/Aria moment from Pretty Little Liars. He is slowly melting my heart. My heart is hot. He’s having all of these sweetly, endearing out of character moments. I call them Nick Miller moments. I really want it to catch on. People will say things like “He just Nick Miller’d that.”
Best line of the night comes from Schmidt:
S-“You can’t come to the party tonight. No sig oths allowed.”
Cece- “Just say significant others.”
S- “Maybe you have the kind of time but I have a tight sched.”
How long with Nick and Jess last?
Who will Schmidt eventually choose?
Will Winston become an old cat lady?