Being the dutiful military daughter that I am, I immediately recognized the episode title to be code for “WTF” and that’s exactly what I was saying to myself the entire episode… and maybe 3 weeks later. I’m still reeling from the images and this is partially to blame for our posting hiatus. Our sincerest apologies…
It’s 10 months after the birth of America’s baby, Fitz’ silent killer act and Fitz’ realization that everyone he trusts has betrayed him. Olivia has apparently taken up swimming to cope. Even her swimsuits are classy! However, that swimcap is NOT her best wardrobe choice. Let’s be real. No female ever looks good in those. (Sorry Missy Franklin)
On the other hand, Fitz has taken up alcohol as a coping mechanism. In an awkward act of desperation, the First Lady goes down on her husband and he is not impressed. Viewers praise Cyrus’ name as he thankfully interrupts… only to inform the president that they have a hostage crisis on their hands.
Cut to David Rosen waking up to a blood splattered dead woman in his bed and a murder weapon in his hand. Police show up. He doesn’t seem to remember anything and he does a terrible job of lying to the po-po. Has Mr. Justice been framed? It looks like he’s in need of Miss Pope’s services. The team deduces that he was professionally set up and he has to decide a) illegally clean up the crime scene or b) confess to lying to the police. Of course, he elects to go with the clean-up. During this process we find out Quinn is a natural, heartless assassin. Huck is impressed. The victim is Wendy- a professional whore/blackmailer/ gatherer of classified information.
Enter the “meet cute” (yes that is a reference to The Holiday). Mr. Adorable Random Stranger strikes up a conversation with a newly made over straight-haired Olivia in a coffee shop queue. As a huge Olitz fan, I reluctantly fall for his charm and transparent pursuit of Olivia’s admiration.
Cyrus’ feelings are hurt as he realizes Fitz is being his own man, making his own decisions, not relying on his right hand man. Mellie’s feelings are hurt when she realizes her husband is an excellent father and he doesn’t give two piles of poo about her political advice. They are two peas in a pod who’ve lost Fitz’ trust.
Harrison coaches David on how to deal with the prosecutor in Wendy’s murder case- David’s former position. David is supposed to stay quiet and reveal nothing but… instead he delivers, what I would say was, this week’s best monologue. Oh how the tables have turned. Reeking of sarcasm and condescension, David gives the prosecutor a talking to that I couldn’t help but applaud for.
It turns out Mr. Adorable Random Stranger isn’t so random. Captain Jake Ballard is not only the cute guy from the coffee shop but also is somehow linked to dirt-digging-Wendy the dead whore. He keeps his lips sealed but somehow still plays the coy gentleman. He smiles. I giggle.
I just want to draw attention to Mellie’s horrendous cotton candied, Easter egg nightmare of an outfit. While sporting this offense to fashion, Mellie lays all the blame at Cyrus’ feet for stealing the election and it earns her Fitz confidence. What a B.
It’s the Christening of Cy and the journalist’s precious adopted baby girl, Ella. Starring in this little drama… in one corner we have “The Godmother. Olivia Pope.” In the other corner we have “The Godfather and President of these United States of America. Fitzgerald Grant.” They make eyes across the sanctuary and the sexual tension in the room should elicit a lightning bolt sent from the heavens by God almighty. Fast forward to a cringe worthy scene that I couldn’t help but watch. To the soulful crescendo of Stevie Wonder’s “Don’t Know Why,” Fitz grabs Liv and takes her in a random control room filled with wires and plugs and lights. She slaps him, then attacks him with her mouth. There’s heavy breathing, gnashing of teeth… my virgin eyes wince to avoid scarring. But let’s be real. That song just shot to the very top of my special mixed tape/cd/playlist (patience my dears. That’s for another post).
They pull themselves together and my heart breaks as Fitz gives Olivia the worst post-coital put down I’ve ever heard. “We are done. I may not be able to hold my erections around you but that does not mean that I want you. We. Are. Done.” Gasp! Fitz. How could you? That was harsh! Cut to Olivia’s disgusted face and her expression just says “Oh no. I’m a slut.”
To more serious matters. The head honchos of the president’s administration watch an attempted rescue mission of the hostages. But they’re not there. It turns out there is a mole in the White House. Dun-dun-duuuun.
Olivia calls Captain Jake the Adorable Random Stranger to follow up on his date offer. They flirt like high school teenagers and make plans for dinner. She lounges on her couch and subconsciously plays with her hair; he swaggers around his living room and flashes his pearly whites.
Has Fitz finally gone to the dark side? Did that gunshot wound to the head mess with his personality or is it just the betrayal?
Will Quinn become an assassin and win more than just Huck’s admiration?
How is David Rosen going to get out of this one with his hands clean?
Is it wrong that I still find Captain Creeper adorable?… don’t answer that.