Scandal / TV Show Recaps

Scandal Recap 2×13: Nobody Likes Babies

scandal-abc

At this point. I feel numb. I’m shell-shocked. I don’t know what to believe. I’m not even sure if I can write this post….

We open where we left off last week, with Huck entering the elevator where Charlie (commissioned by Cyrus) plans to take out Hollis Doyle for trying to kill the President. Except he didn’t! Huck explains all this with his pistol poised at Charlie’s cranium. (How many times will this happen? I almost feel sorry for Charlie because Huck is always the better assassin. Always.) So Hollis gets away scott free, hopefully as a changed man grateful for his life… but probably not.

baby photoopp

Meanwhile, Mellie and President Grant are doing a photo opp with the new baby, who still doesn’t have a name by the way.  I suggest Spawn Grant. It’s short for Spawn of the Female Version of Satan Grant. We see just how bad of a mother Mellie is as she happily hands off her new born child to a waiting nurse. Fitz addresses the fact that he wants to see his children after the divorce (oh good! That’s still a viable option) but Mellie won’t hear of it. Fitz’ retorts: “Do. Not. Push. Me.” I love it when they get in each other’s faces and deliver lines like the positive effects of minty fresh breath mints will last forever. don't push me

Moments later, Fitz walks in on Olivia yelling at Cyrus for trying to have Hollis Doyle killed. Like a good best friend, Cyrus leaves the two alone to make-out and Fitz begs Liv to wait for him. And what does she say?!?!? “I’ll think about it.” (Ummm. Sweetheart. There’s no need to play hard to get anymore.)

waitformeChange scene. By this time. I’m putting 2 and 2 together. Verna hired Becky to kill the President. How do I know this? Because I watch too much tv and know what the previews are insinuating. Olivia goes to visit/interrogate Verna in the hospital where Verna obviously can’t breath without her Darth Vader machine. The Supreme Court Justice finally confesses but denies any guilt, “Screw my conscience! I’m trying to save my country’s soul.” I begin to think, whoa! The undying patriotism of these people is amazing but then Olivia calls Darth Verna out, “It’s for your legacy.” Truth.  But Darth Verna has a rebuttle. “Confessing does more harm than good.” Touche.

Olivia and the team now have a job to do. They spring into action to find a way to shut down David Rosen’s case on election rigging. Apparently, Huck left a camera installed in a bobblehead at David’s house. It’s been on this whole time. How convenient. Also, it captured every steamy moment between Abby and David. They scour every CD for a clue to David’s case… and hand off the PG-13 stuff to Abby for review. The stack is pretty high because apparently, red-head liked it rough. ( Too far? Probably.)

Abby and David reunite.

Verna dies.

Mellie and Cyrus have a conversation about how Fitz still wants a divorce and Mellie delivers the title line “nobody likes babies.” ( unfeeling hag- that’s your own child!) She makes her intentions known- to ruin Fitz and “dance on his grave.” (blood thirsty, unfeeling, hag)

David goes to visit Cyrus’ journalist husband who discovered this whole conspiracy scheme. David demands that James appear in court. James confronts Cyrus in one of the most uncomfortable scenes I’ve ever witnessed on television. He wants a confession. He wants confirmation that Cyrus helped rig the election. Cyrus won’t do it if James is wearing a wire, and James won’t strip because Cyrus could be doing the same thing. All the while, I’m begging “Please don’t get naked. Please don’t get naked!”… they strip. James begs Cyrus not put him in the position to lie because he is NOT a fugitive. J: ” I’ve got asthma! I need 5 star hotels and room service!” hilarious. In the end, Cyrus has a moment of gut-wrenching honest vulnerability. He confesses to stealing the White House. He confesses to needing the power. He was made to be the President but he’s “fairly short, not so pretty, and rather enjoys having sex with men.” I laughed out loud, because it was true. He is destined for a life of being “the guy behind the guy.” (too which I also laughed out loud, because that’s literally what he does. too far again? probably)

Abby misses David and she knows Harrison lied to her about David beating his ex-girlfriend. Harrison gives a great gladiator speech and Abby knows she has to do what’s best for the team, not her heart.

At the same time, Quinn offers Huck $5,000 to kill Hollis Doyle. He offers to do it for free but reminds her that if he does, she can’t be on the team anymore. Killing Hollis would be for revenge. Lindsey Dwyer needs revenge. Quinn Perkins does not. (that ‘s deep Huck)

Charlie and Cyrus have a race-against-time conversation over the phone because Cyrus has hired him yet again to take someone out. Cyrus is going to have his own husband killed, to prevent James the Journalist from going on the stand and for the sake of his own reputation!! What in Hades?!? Fortunately, he backs out and Charlie actually listens. Too close Cy, too close.

Olivia pops open a 1947 vintage vino to drown her sorrows because after James confesses, everything goes down the toilet anyway. But it turns out James lies on the stand! He claims to not know anything! AAaaahhhhh! David bursts into Olivia Pope and Associates demanding to know where the voting machine memory card is. Without it, he has no evidence. In a very convincing performance, Abby denies having taken it (and we think she’s telling the truth.) David leaves with his career in shreds and I pity him. Then Abby pulls the memory card out of her cleavage! For once they do on TV what I might advocate in real life- ho’s over bro’s… (but i’m not happy. I’m telling you, my morals are all twisted right now).

Edison shows up at Olivia’s house. I have to swallow back a little bit of vomit because I wasn’t expecting to see him and his face makes me ill. She gives him his ring back… again. O: “I want painful, difficult, extraordinary, life-changing love. Don’t you want that too?” He’s like ummm no? you masochist freak. and walks away. Hooray!

heknowsVerna’s funeral. Olivia walks up to Fitz telling him she gave Edison the ring back and he gives her the cold shoulder?!?! WTF. And then it dawns on me. Oh shiznit. He knows. He starts quoting familiar words back at her, things she’s said before and a string of profanities leaves my lips. He knows.

Fitz gives a beautiful eulogy but all the while we see flashback scenes of his deathbed conversation with Darth Verna. She’s told him everything. Interwoven with scenes of a heartfelt ode to an independent, admired woman are scenes of a rat, ripping lives apart. Verna tells Fitz the truth and he is clearly crushed. She asks for David Rosen so she can come clean to the authorities and die with a clear conscience. Fitz pauses at the door. He pauses too long. I don’t believe it. He turns back and slowly binds Verna’s arms. He removes her breathing mask and tells her that he won’t let that happen.

darthvernaAt this point, my jaw is on the floor and I stare in disbelief as the fictional president of the fictional United States euthanizes a Supreme Court Justice to protect himself. I am floored. The one innocent, blameless, upstanding character on the whole show has stooped further than I could ever imagine. I am numb. Fitz has gone to the dark side.

And to twist the knife… he turns to Mellie in his despair. True, she was the only one to be painfully honest about her intentions. True, she’s your wife and will always have your back. True, she loves you if not a little less than herself. But whyyyyyyyy?!?!

Was this a gamechanger for you as much as it was for me? Do you still admire Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III? Did you know it was Darth Verna all along? Will Abby and David ever be together. What’s up with this new love interest for Olivia?

Shonda Rhimes, I did not see that one coming.

-B

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