Bachelor/ette / TV Show Recaps / Uncategorized

Bachelor: Sean – Episode 5

One-On-One Date: Lindsay

Selma is pulling a JefArie with her hood up as Chris Harrison enters the room to announce that they are moving this party to Montana.  Yay! Let the traveling begin!

Last week, Tierrable interrupted the impending Lindsay/Sean impromptu hot tub make-out session with her crazy cry-fest about being “tortured.”  This week, Tierrable does her token interview about how she deserves the one-on-one date with Sean, but whose name gets called … Lindsay!  Karma is a beyotch, Psycho Tierra.

Let me just say, that I first spotted Lindsay as a top contestant when the first “This Season on the Bachelor” preview was released.  I thought she looked like a cute, down-home, good girl … and then she got out of the limo in a wedding gown.  I thought then and there that my instincts were way off track, and she was going to be a crazy wild one.  But Lindsay continues to redeem herself.  The other girls seem to like her and she seems pretty fun and down to earth.  So maybe we should forgive her for her cray-cray drunk wedding dress self.

However, if Sean does pick Lindsay, they will have to tell their grandchildren about that time PawPaw met MawMaw on a reality tv show while MawMaw was wearing a wedding gown, got drunk, and then begged PawPaw to kiss her.

After a very short picnic in the mountains, Sean and Lindsay proceed to dinner.  Lindsay opens up about her life as an army brat and growing up without her father, who was serving in the military overseas.  Sean is actually very intuitive and understands Lindsay’s desire to settle down.  After their conversation, Sean gives Lindsay the rose and announces that he has one more surprise for her.  I am thinking hot tub since Tierra ruined that on their last date, but they turn the corner and of course there is a semi-known country singer having a concert in the middle of the street.  Then, Sean and Lindsay have to dance to songs they don’t know on a platform in the middle of the entire population of Whitefish, Montana. Awkward.

Group Date

Red Team: Sarah, Des, Selma, Robyn

Blue Team: Lesley, AshLee, Catherine, Daniella

There has been a new component added to the Bachelor this season.  Every week the girls have to compete in challenges to win dates with Sean.  Not really … but it does seem like there are more of these competitive dates on this season than in the past.  This week the challenge is called “Bachelor’s Montana Wilderness Relay Race” – complete with canoeing, sawing, goat milking, and hay bucking (had to look that last one up).

Apparently none of these ladies have ever been in a canoe, but after a stressful and tight race, the red team wins and the blue team is sent back to their luxury hotel – how sad.  Actually, the blue team members are really good sports and go back to the hotel without much complaining.  But then like the nice genuine guy that he is, Sean decides that it is too late in the process to send girls home from the date because they weren’t the best lumberjack – great logic Sean.  He announces to the red team that the blue team is going to come back and join them for the second part of the date, and they act like little babies – “We won and we didn’t get anything for it.  The losers get to spend time with Sean too.  It’s not fair.”  Well guess what, Robyn? …  it’s not up to you who Sean gets to spend time … so hush.  The blue team girls keep saying that “it was so nice of Sean to invite them to the party.”  They sounded like middle-schoolers who got invited to the popular eighth-grader’s pool party. Haha.

AshLee: AshLee is being rude on the group date.  She could just be a little more appreciative that Sean invited her back and a little less entitled and pushy.  And she has a “soul connection” with Sean.  What the heck does that even mean?

Catherine: I like Catherine.  But sometimes she seems a little too silly and giddy.  But I think that she is a cool girl.  I am excited to see their one-on-one date.

Daniella: So there is always that one girl on the Bachelor who flies under the radar and makes it through every rose ceremony.  When she makes it to the final 5, everyone is like, “Who is she?”  That girl is Daniella.  Or should I say, that girl was Daniella. Except …  Daniella got the group date rose!  What?  Good for her for stepping it up and not turning into “that girl.”  I would have bet money that she was going home this episode.  I would have been wrong.

Des: Des is still in my top four.  She didn’t really do a lot on the group date – except pour goat milk all over her face.

Lesley: This girl is hilarious.  I want to be her friend.  She was talking to the goat and reassuring it, “I’m gonna drink your milk in a little while. [leans down like the goat is talking] Oh wait … he said he’d make it chocolate for me.”  She is funny.  I hope she wins.

Robyn: Girl is NOT happy that the blue team got to come back.  She needs to back up and calm down.

Sarah: I did not really see a lot of her on this date.  Nothing really to say.

Selma: Selma wore a GIANT ear warmer thing on the group.  Besides that – I got nothing.

*Tierra: Oh no she didn’t.  Tierra did not just show up to a date that she was not invited to.  Wait, she did.  This is a new low – even for her.  She just acts like the rules do not apply to her – that she deserves more time than anyone else, and Sean is “misleading” her if he doesn’t pick her for every freaking date.  I am glad that Sean was sort of taken aback by her appearance at the group date.  I think that she kinda threw him off and maybe now he’s on the fence a little with her.

Two-on-One Date: Jackie and Tierra

Everyone HATES the two-on-one date.  Everyone.  When Tierra realizes that she is going on the two-on-one, she thinks she has it in the bag and is acting like a meany to poor sweet Jackie.  Then, she pretends to get all insecure about it and interrupts the group date.  I just cannot understand her.  Cannot handle her.

I really liked Jackie, or maybe it was just that I really do not like Tierra.  I was really hoping that Sean would come through for me and see the light and send Tierra home.  But let’s be real, I have seen the previews of Tierra getting frostbitten while skinny dipping, so I knew she was sticking around for a little bit longer and sweet Jackie was going home.

Once again Tierra manipulated the whole situation and held her big sob story til the two-on-one date on purpose.  And it worked.  Come on, Sean – I do not want to see you get played.

Rose Ceremony

During the rose ceremony, Sean catches Tierra being Tierrable and yelling at Robyn.  I was so happy when walked in the room; I was hoping that he would finally see her true colors.  And he … sorta kinda did.  I think that it really caught him off guard and confused him.  Sean is frustrated because all of the girls talk about not liking Tierra, but none of them will give him specific examples or elaborate on why she “isn’t here here for the right reasons.”  Which I totally understand – no one wants to straight up talk bad about her to Sean.  I mean, what are they supposed to say?  “Well Sean … she’s a witch”?  Lesley did a great job when Sean asked her about Tierra.  I thought that she answered the question well without seeming mean or getting flustered.  Then, she turned the issue back to Sean and said, “I can see that this is frustrating you, and I don’t like seeing you like this.”  10 points for Lesley!

Sean then confronts Tierra.  I wish I had a dollar for every time Tierra said, “I am not a drama person.”  BULL, Tierra, BULL SHIZNIT.  Tierra claims that the girls are attacking her, and Sean asks for names.  Tierra says that everyone is attacking her.  RED FLAG!!!!!! No one likes her!! RED FLAG!!  I mean, do none of these Bachelors/Bachelorettes not watch previous seasons?  The troublemaker in the house is no good for you!   Plus, Tierra is a violent person.  She is forever talking about punching people. She needs to go – plain as that.

Result: Robyn goes home.

Anyone else notice that weird preview of Sean standing at the final rose stage and Chris bringing him that letter from someone.  What is that???

Good News: 2 more hours of the Bachelor tomorrow!  Yay!

-L

My Two Cents: “Fustration”

Yeah, I know it’s not a word, but Tierrable seems to think it is. Not only does she give the same narcissistic speech every week about being mistreated, but her go to emotion is “fustration.” Will the ABC/ Bachelor producer please take her aside and do some speech exercises?!?! She also claims that all of this drama is “pity”… umm, I think she mean “petty” as in “inconsequential and below her.” I hate to be the grammar police- but somebody’s gotta do it. 

Why did Robyn go home? Pouting. You’ve got to turn that frown upside down, girl! Or at least quit scowling at the Bachelor. You don’t want to show him your PMS side yet!

Concerns: As with every season, the Bachelor’s bad decision making leads me to question their judgement. Do you really want to marry a man or woman who is so bad at reading people? I think Des tried to express a similar concern. How could he be attracted to vapid little Tierra and still find sweet Des desirable? It causes you to either question your own persona or Sean’s ability to read people. Let’s be real, if Sean really does want to try his chances with Tierra over Jackie (and it’s not the ABC/Bachelor producers forcing him to), then I’m not sure I can trust him to raise our children… or mow the lawn… or fix a leaky faucet.

-B 

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